“Believe it or not I’m walking on air
I never thought I’d tell so many stories
Typing away like the devil possessed
Who could it be? It’s me, so have a good read!”
(I love the theme tune to The Greatest American Hero)
Hello, you terrific bunch of people – let’s get this storytelling party started!
The theme I picked for my particular tale this time round was “When Men Grow Moustaches”.
I therefore decided to write it about a conflict within a family because we’ve all had those – am I right? Damn straight!
I’ve included the comment on submission, I came 6th out of about 30 or so other stories – nice to see that I’m being consistent, I’ve been in the top 10 the last few weeks (yay me).
Feel free to regale me about your own family conflict in the Comments section if you think it is a) funny and 2).Not going to cause you or I trouble if it resides in the public domain.
In doing so however, you are giving me artistic licence to make a story out of it (if I can be bothered and I haven’t eaten too much food), warping its innocent nature and bending it into the shape of my own nightmareish creation(s) – caveat emptor dudes and dudettes!
And now on with the show.
A Familiar Itch by David Ellis
“Patchy. And it makes me itch like a son of a….”
“Now William, that is not language becoming of a young gentleman! All of the men in our distinguished lineage sport perfectly groomed moustaches. How else can we effectively convey to the masses the austerity of our honourable name without good manners, fine looking clothes and immaculately coiffured facial hair?”
“I’m not sure I want all of this Mother.” William waved his hand dismissively at the manor.
“Nonsense, what would you do if you aren’t going to take over the family business?”
“I’d quite like to work with my pal Derek.” William looked pleadingly at his Mother.
Penelope screwed up her fizzog in barely contained contempt.
“Derek? Isn’t he the grubby little oik who works in that ghastly hardware store in the more “obnoxious” area of this district?”
“That hardware store is a family business that has been running for the last 21 years Mother!”
“And your own family business has been running for five times longer than that and yet you wish to flagrantly throw it away at the behest of your ‘friend’ who you’ve only know for a few months.”
“Two years and several months actually Mother.”
“Hush, tish and pishaw William, don’t contradict your Mother. The fact of the matter is that Derek is not your family and you are heir to our name and I simply will not allow you to squander this opportunity. I expressively forbid you to associate with Derek anymore.”
“You’re too late, I’ve signed a contact.”
Penelope’s jaw dropped so low that the devil himself could have heard it knocking on the gates of hell.
“William! How could you besmirch the family name like this! And me, your Mother. This business is our bread and butter. Your Father has been taken ill for quite some time now, you must forget all this nonsense and stop taking leave of your senses.”
“Give the business to the butler Mother, I hear that he is keen to get stuck in.”
“I will disown you William, you can count on it!”
“I’d rather be free Mother than your puppet!”
And with that William ran out.
But his Mother bought the business from Derek’s father the next day and then fired William.
Because it’s a family business and you can’t fight the familiar itch.
Comments on submission:- A Familiar Itch – ‘” Hush, tish & pishaw William, don’t contradict your mother.”‘ An old fashioned writing style. The tension between mother & son is well realised. A lot of humour. Came 6th