Daily Prompt – Seconds! – Flash Fiction / Short Story – “A Little Bit of What You Fancy” | toofulltowrite (I've started so I'll finish)

Daily Prompt – Seconds
by Michelle W. on February 22, 2013

Describe the most satisfying meal you’ve ever eaten, in glorious detail.

Hello everybody.

I’ve taken my time with this prompt because food for me is such a glorious experience all the time, every time. There is no point explaining my best time when it comes to food because there have been too many, with many more to come!

(Although if you want some kind of indication of how I would describe what my best meals are like, you might as well try this:-

[This isn’t just food – it’s an orgy!]

So, let’s subvert the prompt, whilst keeping in with the theme (broadly) and may I present a story for you to feast upon.

If you fancy seconds, I’d like to also take the opportunity to mention that this story has been inspired by and is a love letter to another truly excellent story by Lorrie at “circles under streetlights” (Follow her blog at circles under streetlights), who wrote a lovely, hugely entertaining story about the feelings of broccoli (Broccoli Gone Bad) – no broccoli is allowed to go bad in my house, it’s the law!

A Little Bit Of What You Fancy (by David Ellis)

“I’m the best she’ll never have!” Mr Scotchy Egg wailed, spraying pork crumbs everywhere.

“Don’t take it so hard son, it happens to the best of us. When she’s on a diet, she doesn’t take any prisoners!”

“That’s alright for you to say, Mr Grilled Chicken in a deliciously low fat white wine flavoured sauce but you do the vertical mambo with her a couple of times a week!”

Mr Grilled Chicken admired his perfect sculpted form in the fridge mirror.

“I admit that she has good taste and I’m in really good shape, there is hardly an ounce of fat on me at all but we’re all made different, we all have our own particular appealing qualities. You for example my friend are in the Finest Food range after all.”

“That’s just a label, a box they put me in, it doesn’t really define who I am, I’m not sexy at all, I know I taste good but I don’t particularly look good.” Mr Scotchy wiped a perspiratory tear from his packet.

Ms Spaghetti & Meatballs pulled the strands out of her eyes. “You think you’re bad Scotchy – look at my split ends, no-one is going to fancy this!”

Mr Grilled Chicken looked at her appraisingly, with much fondness and a twinkle in his eye.

“Ms Spaghetti, my Italian love, there is no way that anyone could simply not fancy you any day of the week!”

Ms Spaghetti blushed the colour of light parmesan and shook her soft curls, sending peppered dandruff everywhere.

“How saucy Mr Grilled Chicken!”

“You’d better believe it Bella Donna!”

“Jeez you two, why don’t you get a room!” Mr Scotchy Egg looked on at them enviously.

Ms Spaghetti & Meatballs frowned. “There’s only one other room in this motel and the air conditioning is broken – we would freeze to death! They never seem keen to fix it…”

Suddenly a door slammed out in the netherworld and noises punctuated the door, startling them in their tracks.

“Is it our gracious queen?” Mr Scotchy whispered, looking hopeful.

Mr Grilled Chicken craned his head. “I think it is her but she has company, who could it be?”

They all kept quiet and still until they heard the giant voice speak.

“You got anything to eat Tracy? I’m famished.”

“I think I have a scotch egg in the fridge.”

Mr Scotchy Egg could scarcely contain his eggcitement.

“I came to the party looking to leave with the prom queen but I got her best friend instead! See you on the other side guys!”

A light blinded them for a second and then he was gone.

Mr Grilled Chicken watched him go wistfully – “I’m glad he made it, he only had one more day left and he would have had an appointment with the big, black, silvery thing outside – no-one gets out of there alive!”

Ms Spaghetti & Meatballs looked into Mr Grilled Chicken’s eyes.

“Just you and me then honey?” She smiled and twirled herself around seductively.

“Should be – it’s Saturday today and she doesn’t do the weekly shop until tomorrow.”

They cuddled up together and dreamed every meal’s dream of being offered up on a smorgasbord platter with five types of cheese and wine by the bucketload. A world where ‘Diets’ were the name of an unpopular British folk duo band from the sixties that no-one cared to listen to.

A bottle of champagne cheekily bubbled up next to them.

“Here’s to making new friends tomorrow – I heard on the grapevine she is going to have a naughty day and get some chocolate cake!”

They all sighed in contentment – it was the naughty days that really made life worth living.

You still want more? Seconds not enough for you? Well how about thirds, fourths, fifths, hell, all you can eat from my fellow bloggers below 🙂

But first – read this, it tickled me pink! Shakespeare and mayo, what a combination!

Angrezikabutar – Mayonnaise – The Tragically Original Tale of Eggeo

10 thoughts on “Daily Prompt – Seconds! – Flash Fiction / Short Story – “A Little Bit of What You Fancy””

dmauldin53 says:

March 2, 2013 at 7:26 pm

Thanks for the pingback. 🙂

- TooFullToWrite says:
  
  March 3, 2013 at 2:34 pm
  
  Always welcome!
  
Susan D. says:

March 2, 2013 at 10:01 pm

Love this!! Made me giggle!

- TooFullToWrite says:
  
  March 3, 2013 at 2:44 pm
  
  I aim to please – glad you liked it!
  
Pingback: Mayonnaise: The tragically original tale of Eggeo. | Angrezikabutar
Uzoma says:

March 3, 2013 at 4:23 pm

Very interesting, David. I love the life you injected into these characters.

circlesunderstreetlights says:

March 3, 2013 at 8:52 pm

Haha, this is adorable! Really cute – enjoyed it a lot. Even this, which had me groaning:

“Mr Scotchy Egg could scarcely contain his eggcitement.”

So glad you got a bit of inspiration from me! Thanks for sharing 🙂 x

- TooFullToWrite says:
  
  March 3, 2013 at 9:28 pm
  
  Thank you Lorrie and you’re very welcome – I was hoping you would read it! Your story was a very inspiring piece and if I get a few more people to read it then that will make me very happy. I wasn’t sure about keeping in the ‘egg’ pun but I simply couldn’t resist!
  
jaywcarmichael2 says:

March 7, 2013 at 11:59 am

Hey, I’d like to nominate you for the Sunshine Award. I think that your blog is amazeballs and offers a greatly inspirational and cultural material. If you would like to accept the award, then here are the rules: http://jaywcarmichael2.wordpress.com/2013/03/07/the-sunshine-award/

- TooFullToWrite says:
  
  March 8, 2013 at 5:38 pm
  
  Thanks for that Jay, very kind of you to nominate me son. I’ve been meaning to make an Awards page for donkeys years now – I have so many now, I’m going to have to tackle them one at a time!