Good evening everyone.
I’m trying a little experiment tonight – this is a departure from my usual style and is a bit more obscure – hope you like it and find it interesting.
(And if you don’t well then blow out your ass….embly line. Good, glad we cleared the air. Or maybe not. Enjoy!)
“Breathing Stone” by David Ellis
Candy floss
Cotton wool mouth
Drifting off
Only to be rudely roused
Sauna in
The middle of the ocean
A clock is ticking
Mourning the morning
Fear beckons
Loss of consciousness
Dipping in and out
A toe in the water
They say that
Boredom is the only cure
Broom the witching hour fast
A pox on the night before
It will tie you up in knots
Worse than
Any boy scout or sailor
Breaking the surface
Riding the crest
Of this errant wave again
Swallow heartache
Smile in sadness
Rinse and repeat
There are no mistakes
At least none that can be seen
By the naked eye
A lock that has no key
Rusted, never to be opened
Graceful to the bitter end
Grains of perpetual sand
Unfulfilled dreams released
Into inviting arms
Welcome home, we missed you
It’s never too late to change
toofulltowrite (I've started so I'll finish) 
Wow —- I get this in a most deeply touching way.
So eh, no blowing it out of *my* ass …embly line. 😉
Thank you so much Patricia, we’ll skip the blowing then. Glad you enjoyed it 🙂
Loved it… but my favorite part: ‘like it or blow it out your ass’ … even I never went that far.
A man’s got to know his limitations 😉
I don’t know that word…
That’s good, since you hold the key to my heart 🙂
FWIW . . . I can’t decide on the feedback I get from this poem; when I’m reading a piece, I have different sensory experiences (smell-taste-sound-etc.), and with this one I kind of ‘saw’ two things in my mind that I can’t quite reconcile. I heard something like a metronome (or maybe it’s a pendulum!) and I saw the words writhing around like a really wacky snake (probably because of the wordplay, as with “Mourning the morning” and smiling in sadness). What a place to be as a reader; I like figuring my way out of the fog. In other words, good work with the poem, which puts me on uneven mental footing, thus priming me for change, perhaps??? !!! Pretty fly lines, too. 🙂
Hey there Leigh, thank you so much for reading. Your feedback is terrific, I enjoy playing with the reader hoping to develop some mystery, intrigue and awe in my work and leave some things open to interpretation. If I successfully manage this with just one person, I feel like I have done my job properly. Appreciate you taking the time to write out a long comment too – cheers 🙂