Hi everybody.

Got something for you of the rhyming variety
Hot off the press and fresh as a daisy
Yes, I know that it is not Thursday
So why not be grateful that it’s early?

(And I can go out, watch a band and get drunk on Thursday night instead – sounds like a plan!)

I got inspired by an article today about the lies that we tell children, in order to motivate them to do things and to behave.

This idea then gave birth to this beautiful baby poem – hope you all have fun with it and can relate to it.

The Lies We Tell Our Children

Son, pick yourself up off that floor
Stop folding yourself like a concertina
We didn’t raise you to be a ballerina
Or have a spine like a faulty deck chair

Ragdoll floppiness, tantrums thrown
Means no sweets, toys, none of those
As for you yelling that horrible scream
Ice cream is fast becoming a pipe dream

Your budgie died and went to heaven
He’s not sitting in a hole in the ground
Buried him to give him brand new angel wings
Now he flies through dirt, concrete, everything

Eat your greens, broccoli makes you taller
Just take a look at your Father
No, I know he’s only five foot six
That’s because he eats too many biscuits

“Are we there yet?” just a little further
That’s what I told you and your sister
Pretty much about ten miles ago
But when Daddy’s lost, just go with the flow

You’ll get it next time we’re in the shop
I left my purse in the car glove compartment
If I’ve got no money, why am I buying wine?
You’ll understand in thirty years’ time

Yes, I know I called you a miniature terrorist
To be fair they’re far easier to reason with
So if you don’t behave right now
You leave me with no choice

To call the police and have you
Thrown to the wolves
What’s that, you promise you’ll be good?
Well then, that’s great, I love you too
Ain’t that the truth!