Fire in the hole!
Hello lovely people and welcome to Day 4 of NaPoWriMo.
Today, the theme in question for National Poetry Writing Month is based around the structure of a lune.
(Hey, who are you calling a loon, punk? No dear fellow, I said lune, sounds like tune and is a poetic variant of the Japanese haiku).
A lune can take the form of either syllables or words and for this session, I have embraced the Jack Collum version and gone with words because to be frank, syllables are a pain in the glasshole.
Also, the thing is though, these lunes are even tinier than haikus, so I’m going to have to write a whole bunch of ’em to beef this bad boy up.
And what better way to beef them up than in the style of our resident hard man Danny Dyer – think of this as a sequel to that epic bunch of haikus that I wrote celebrating him in the past – here is the link in case you missed the ones that I wrote before:-
Comedy Haikus in the Style of Danny Dyer Reflective Haikus
So welcome to a Loony sequel of sorts – I give you our Reflective Hard Man in action and feel free to shower me with comments and give me a good schooling too!
“Who Are You Calling A Loon?
Let Danny Dyer Teach You A Lesson (Parody)”
by David Ellis
We learnt English
Why? Speak it already bruv
Burnt the dictionary
What about Maths?
Bloody algebra and confusing graphs
Count on fingers
Computers / Information Technology
Do I resemble a nerd?
No, jog on
There was History
Wars, famine, oppression and death
Watch news instead
I took Geography
Then they invented the Sat-Nav
Geography? Now Redundancy
Had Art Classes
Too young for nude women
We drew wangs
Attended Physical Education
Who invented cross country running?
I preferred smoking
Once did Music
Got triangle so strangled teacher
Wanted a guitar
In Chemistry Lessons
Bunsen burners work on anything
Bye bye evidence
Tried Business Studies
I don’t understand the economy
It’s your round
For more blog posts on how my fellow bloggers found particular subjects tricky to master when they were back at school, check out the links below:-
1. A LOVE LETTER TO MY ASS | She Writes
2. Hypocrite | Perspectives on life, universe and everything
3. Write | Perspectives on life, universe and everything
4. Daily Prompt: Land of Confusion- Life as an Introvert: Hard Things in Socializing | Journeyman
5. Daily Prompt: Land of Confusion…And Also Irony | benjaminsolak
6. The Match (Part 2) Saying Goodbye | The Jittery Goat
7. Blossoming to Science | One Educator’s Life
8. Daily Prompt: Land of confusion | Love your dog
9. Daily Prompt: Land of Confusion | seikaiha’s blah-blah-blah
10. MUST READ: Hailing from Math Hater To Math Lover | The Philosophy TImes
11. Daily Prompt: Land of Confusion | Under the Monkey Tree
12. I Just don’t get it. | Hope* the happy hugger
13. The Philosophy TImes
14. Valedictorian’s shouldn’t stutter | In the Present
15. Daily prompt: !%!%*&! Math! | The Wandering Poet
16. Daily Prompt: Land of Confusion, 02.04.14 | Markie’s Daily Blog
17. Daily Prompt: Land of Confusion | Blog of the imaginator
18. Imagined Irrationality of Numbers | I’m a Writer, Yes I Am
19. DP Confusion: Giorgia | aliabbasali
20. Daily Prompt: Land of Confusion | tnkerr-Writing Prompts and Practice
21. The History I don’t Know | Tonkadella’s Things in Life
22. The Trials of the Socially Awkward | Geek With a Pen
23. 1 + 1 = Math is stupid | The Bohemian Rock Star’s “Untitled Project”
24. Wonderland « Averil Dean
25. Daily Prompt: Land of Confusion | CaughtuProductions
26. How My Struggle With Math Killed My College Career – WANGSGARD
27. Land of Confusion | The Story of a Guy
28. Land of Confusion: Daily Prompt | ALIEN AURA’S BLOG: IT’LL BLOW YOUR MIND!
29. DP Daily Prompt: Land Of Confusion | Sabethville
30. Daily Prompt: Land of Confusion | Here I am !!
31. So I Write for Better or Worse | Lisa’s Kansa Muse
32. Daily Prompt: Land of Confusion | I Loathe Nothing | Shawn Daily
33. A Student’s Confession (A Poem) | meanderedwanderings
34. Daily Prompt: Math:My Land of Confusion | A Day In The Life
35. English It is! | Navigate
36. Daily Prompt: Land of Confusion | Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss
37. Is This Magic or Something? | wisskko’s blog
38. There Are No Words | Broken Light: A Photography Collective
39. And Now a Word from Our Sponsor: Physics | The Zombies Ate My Brains
40. Ten Things You Can’t Buy With SNAP (Food Stamps)
41. A Nightmare | Flowers and Breezes
42. Reading and writing | Life is great
43. Land of Confusion | Relax
44. Subjects in Distress | Views Splash!
45. DP: Eff THis! | Scorched Ice
46. M for Monster 😛 | Dreams to Reality !
47. In the Land of Confusion, Literature is Evil! | Lesie’s World
48. Me + Arithmatic = Fail | djgarcia94
49. Teach your kids to procrastinate | Parents Are People Too
50. Jim bought 60 watermelons | mnemosynesandlethe
51. If you learn one thing, learn to dream – | The Flavored Word
52. Lacking Direction | Overcoming to Becoming
53. Math Tests Are Stupid, And Covered With Cheese | Short Story Sally
54. Ninjas In Stitches
55. Daily Prompt: Being Confused! | All Things Cute and Beautiful
56. Then And Now | Ninjas In Stitches
57. I’m a Big Nerd | thanks for letting me autograph your cat
58. Daily Prompt: Land of Confusion | Diary of Dennis
59. Daily Prompt: Land of Confusion | SIM | ANTICS
60. Land of Confusion | Life Confusions
61. Daily Prompt: Land of Confusion | The Living Mirage
62. Giggles and some learning | A mom’s blog
63. Land of Confusion | Lead us from the Unreal to the Real
64. Daily prompt – Wednesday 🙂 | myjourneyeveryday
65. Daily Prompt: Land of Confusion | This is who I am…
66. Daily Prompt: Land of Confusion | Bob’s Blog-O-Rama
67. Reversing the Black Keys: Rhode Scholar I was Not « psychologistmimi
68. The Land of Confusion – Valley Girl Gone Country
69. Chemistry | Breathing Space
70. Daily prompt : Land of confusion | Loin de zanzibar
71. Daily Prompt: The Problem with Numbers | Morrighan’s Muse
72. Weekly Photo Challenge:Street Life | LenzExperiments
73. Gym Class. Ugh. | Properly Ridiculous
74. Muddy River Muse
75. Always confused!!?? | The Insight of a young soul
76. Land of Confusion | Dare to Read and Enter a New World…
77. Here’s Johnny! | Trucker Turning Write
78. Just the Facts! | 365 Days of Thank You
79. Daily Prompt: Land of Confusion | My Other Blog
80. What I Didn’t Learn | Edward Hotspur
81. Daily Prompt: Land of Confusion | Barbara Pyett
82. Enigma | zaphnathpaaneah
83. Exile in Silence | vic briggs
84. Daily Prompt: Land of Confusion| My History With History | Random…Yet Not So Random Thoughts Of Mine
85. Je déteste les maths! | Willow’s Corner
86. Math, what would I do without you? | A Simple Note
87. Why I Hated Reading for so Long | My Author-itis
88. Thank Goodness for Pee-Chee | Overcoming Bloglessness
89. Learn what you like | Stuff and Nonsense
90. Daily Prompt: Land of Confusion | Basically Beyond Basic
91. Daily Prompt: Land of Confusion | Ramblings of a Midwest 20-Something
92. Daily Prompt: Land of Confusion | My Atheist Blog
93. All the reasons I HATE Physics | Life of MeII
94. Daily prompt: Compared to this, ‘Survivor’ is chicken feed | helen meikle’s scribblefest
95. Mathematical Awkardness | Polymathically
96. Oh The Mathematics of Learning… | Mod with Love
97. I hate you…MATHS | FREE BIRD
98. Hurdling Biology 11 | the velveteen leah
99. Land of Confusion | Danielle’s Blog
100. 10 Things You Can’t Buy With Food Stamps | The News On Time
101. 10 Things You Can’t Buy With Food Stamps | Pride & Equality Post
102. Daily Krunch » 10 Things You Can’t Buy With Food Stamps
103. 10 Things You Can’t Buy With Food Stamps – Bmore Gossip
104. Math Madness (Daily Prompt: Land of Confusion) | The Polka Dot Penguin
105. 10 Things You Can’t Buy With Food Stamps | Damaged Black Hair
106. 10 Things You Can’t Buy With Food Stamps | Diversity Foundation
107. Daily prompt: land of confusion | I really just pretend to know stuff
108. Daily Prompt: Land of Confusion | Purplesus’ Blog
109. Land of Confusion | The Nameless One
110. I should have liked physics, but I didn’t | Veronica Coons
toofulltowrite (I've started so I'll finish) 
Nice poem.
Thank you! A bit different to what I have done for the first few days but I like to mix it up with some comedy too wherever possible 🙂
Immensely enjoyable. You captured Danny’s vernacular perfectly.
I did? Woohoo! Looks like that’s a green light for our project then 🙂
I read this in Danny Dyer’s voice (or at least, I tried). Great stuff.
Thank you Janey – I’m glad that they come across in that way. I love they guy and my parody is purely in an affectionate way. I’d like to write with you again soon, if you have any ideas then let me know or if you’d like me to start something off again, just say the word 🙂
I tweeted DD your poem and will again tomorrow! Timing is everything.
Yes, especially when I am ducking his punches as he tries to lamp me for taking the michael.
You should really call this “we drew wangs”. Priceless. Hilarious stuff.
Hey there Trent – glad you found it funny, there is something about the word wang that makes me laugh every time I hear it – must be because of that comedy show Mitchell & Webb!
This is a whole new level of lunacy
I put the lune in lunatic
you put the seman in semantics… ha…
Or the git in legit
indubitably
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cool piece! 🙂
Hey thanks Mimi – appreciate it 🙂
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This was a fun and creative write. Enjoyed reading.