NaPoWriMo – Poem / Poetry – “Doctor Did Very Little For The Animals” (A Dr Dolittle Spoof)

It’s not the days honey, it’s the NaPoWriMo mileage!

Howdy peeps and may I bring to your personal attention that it is now Day 22 of National Poetry Writing Month for your delectation.

(You see what happens when you write poetry all the time, every sentence contains a bleeding rhyme, it’s a natural occurrence, just don’t try this at home ladies and gents, OK maybe I’m just showing off but sometimes even I can’t control this, it just happens!)

Here is the link to today’s prompt – NaPoWriMo Day 22 and here we are acting the fool

So for tonight’s excursion, the task is the write a children’s poem / nursery rhyme.

Now that’s fine and dandy except that I cannot help myself and have to go against the grain……just read the poem and you’ll see what I mean, if I had to pick two styles that this mimics, I’d say it might be a cross between Dr Seuss & Edgar Allan Poe having a day at the zoo!

The Story of Dr Dolittle by Hugh Lofting

“Doctor Did Very Little For The Animals” (A Dr Dolittle spoof) by David Ellis

My name’s ‘Doctor Did Little’
I can talk to the animals
(If by talk, you mean insult then you’re on the right track)
Although, after today
Maybe I should consider
An alternative career path

The hippopotamus declared
“Does my bum look big in this?”
To wit, I replied:-
“But of course – you’re a hippopotamus!”

In tears the hippopotamus
Fled straight to the owl
And the owl did scowl
With an intent to disembowel
(Doctor – there are women and children present, tone it down a tad. “What are you, my Dad? Push off!”)

I glared at the grimacing creature
Until the creepy minuscule fella
Did spontaneously combust
His feathers got in my mouth
Inconsiderate to say the least
But I guess we saved on cremation costs

Next up to try take a pop
Was a gorilla akin to King Kong
Beating his chest and waving his fists
He lunged at me with both feet first

But the sorry, hairy fool went and slipped
On an erratically placed banana skin
And fell down an open manhole cover
Into a sewer filled with shi..
(Doctor! I won’t warn you again! “Sorry – moving swiftly on.”)

Right about now, I thought from afar
This day couldn’t get any more bizarre
When in stepped an elongated neck
Good heavens, it was a giraffe!

“Don’t make me step on you man!”
He did doth threaten me with
So I took the wind out of his sails
And I promptly articulated:-

“You’re having a laff, you crazy giraffe!”
“Why don’t you make like a tree and leave!”
He then tried to stomp on me
Injuring his knee in the process

They tried to save him but he kept
Banging his head on the mantelpiece
So now he’s pushing up the daisies
With the crispy fried owl
I suppose his friend King Kong probably drowned
Animals don’t tend to last long when I’m in town

As for the sensitive hippopotamus
She’ll forgive me no doubt
She asked me if she should go on a diet
I simply replied:-
“A sea food diet because when you see food….oh forget it!”
And I quietly ran off into the night
Never to darken her towels again
A Doctor’s work is never done
I’m done here though, I’ve got a lawsuit pending

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