NaPoWriMo – Poem / Poetry – “Whoppers”

Don’t pick a fight with a poet!
(Madeleine Peyroux)

Hello everyone.

Welcome to Day 16 of National Poetry Writing Month.

Looks like we have another winning prompt today – check it out here:-

NaPoWriMo – Day 16 – Lie To Me Baby

Today’s task is to write a ten line poem where every line is a lie. So I’ve written ten lines…..or have I? (I haven’t, I was being cheeky).

House TV series with Hugh Laurie
(Image courtesy of House/Hugh Laurie/NBC/Universal)

“Whoppers” by David Ellis

The earth is round? Nope
It’s flatter than a strawberry pancake
Around the world in 80 days?
I can do it in one on roller skates

The sun is not much hotter
Than my radiator on all day at full blast
The moon needs to stop poking his nose
Into other people’s business

Knitting needles make
Superbly cheap antennas for dogs
Empty cigarette packets are ideal carrying cases
For frogs (with smoker’s coughs)

String is an excellent alternative
For barbed wire, if you wrap it many times
Used tea bags can be dried outside
And fashioned into beautiful hats and handbags

You can easily lose weight
If the only thing you ever eat is cakes
Also, raisin based cookies taste identical
To the ones smothered with chocolate chips

Birthdays can be tons more fun
If you only invite rich people to them
Every gift must be a yacht
You can always learn to swim afterwards

No man has ever been shot
As he is doing the dishes
Then again no man has ever done them
In the first place (cue angry men comments)

Fast is better than slow
Both in the boardroom and bedroom
In, out and put the kettle on
Not my motto but feel free to make it your own
And then I’ll have to disown you
That’s not how I roll

For more posts about being fooled and times when people have had the wool pulled over their eyes, check out these blog posts from my blogging buddies below:-

1. The Shotgun Girl – Best Kinds of Fooled
2. Tnkerr Writing Prompts & Practice – Daily Prompt – Brilliant Disguise
3. Exploratorius – Need A New Escape Plan
4. Musing of a Menopausal Maven – Irony of a Smile
5. Avalon – The Dancer
6. DJGarcia94 – You’re Dad’s a Made Man
7. The Zombies Ate My Brains – Howard the Good
8. Chasing Destino – Brilliant Disguise – Daily Post
9. Virginia Views – Taken in by the Best
10. Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss – Daily Prompt – Brilliant Disguise
11. Pyschologist Mimi – There is Something About Mary in the Deep South of My Alternative Persona
12. La Chica de la Burbuja – Daily Prompt – Brilliant Disguise
13. Silver Leaf Journal – It Needs to be Said – A Gut Wrenching Open Letter to my Ex Husband
14. Mama Bear Musings – Daily Prompt – Brilliant Disguise
15. Trucker Turning Write – Sucker
16. Alien Aura’s Blog – Boundaries and Abuse
17. Sitting on the Porch – The Race Porch Story #3
18. The Jittery Goat – Bus Route
19. Meandered Wanderings – Surprise
20. I Didn’t Just Wake Up – A Deceiving Low Down Dirty Deceiver
21. Thought of RKH – A genetic whatsit containing a pretty low gullibility factor
22. Blackbird’s Nest – Daily Prompt: Have a Pleasant Afternoon
23. Life Confusions – Got Me Good
24. Overcoming Bloglessness – Brilliant Blue
25. Pittsburgh Lesbian Correspondents – Growing Up Irish Under False Pretenses
26. HomeToGo232 – Brilliant Disguise
27. A Blog of One’s Own Opinion – Brilliant Disguise – My Old School
28. Eastel.M.Hurst.A.Go.Go – Happy Fortieth Birthday to me
29. Cabernet In The Dark – Daily Prompt – The Crickets That Follow
30. The Bohemian Rock Star’s “Untitled Project” – My Hustle That Never Quite Happened
31. Properly Ridiculous – Tastes Like Chicken
32. seikaiha’s blah-blah-blah – Daily Prompt – Brilliant Disguise
33. snapshotsofawanderingheart – Tricking the Heart
34. Vic Briggs – A Writer Adrift – Beneath the Mask – Gion Geishas
35. Outreach – The only solace being, the secret remained
36. The Nameless One – Brilliant Disguise
37. DukkSheit Happens – So Very Far & Wa-a-ay BEYOND ‘wool-pulling’, ‘hoodwinking’ & being someone’s ‘Fool’….
38. Thinking Diagonally –
Lockers, Lasers, and the Great Prank War (Daily Prompt)

39. I Am A Writer, Yes I Am – Con Artists Are Everywhere
40. The Barren Page – Daily Prompt – Brilliant Disguise
41. Sabethville – DP Daily Prompt: Brilliant Disguise
42. Kate Murray – Hot Air
43. Perspectives on Life, Universe & Everything – Superiority complex
44. Purplesus’ Blog – Brilliant Disguise – Pretending to be a friend
45. That Montreal Girl – Daily Prompt – Disguise
46. Lisa’s Kansa Muse – The Jokester
47. zaphnathpaaneah – Vermin
48. Long Winding Road – You live and learn
49. Awake & Dreaming – Hoodwinked
50. Perspectives on Life, Universe & Everything – Quark Chase
51. The Wangsgard – There’s No Foolin Me
52. Psychologist Mimi – You left me with a hole in my balloon of awe
53. Field of Thorns – Counting Sheep
54. shame – Demon
55. Journeyman – Daily Prompt: Brilliant Disguise-Psychiatryc Side of Ego and Foolishness
56. Views Splash! – Devils in Disguise
57. Flowers & Breezes – A Pleasant Surprise
58. Babsje Heron – “I’m just swimming au naturelle,” he lied smoothly.
59. Basically Beyond Basic – Daily Prompt – Brilliant Disguise
60. Random & Real – Oh typical american food store!
61. The WordPress C(h)ronicle – Daily Prompt – Brilliant Disguise
62. The Land Slide Photography – Disguise
63. Le Drake Noir – Word Of Mouth Disguise
64. The Ravenously Disappearing Woman – The Prankster gets Punked
65. The Sacred Architecture of Here and Now – Day 73: The Body Is A Brilliant Disguise
66. 365 Days of Thank You – I Thought I Knew What I Was Getting
67. Random Words – I Pulled the Wool Over My Own Eyes
68. The West Gate – Daily Prompt: Hoodwinked, fool me once…
69. Wiley’s Wisdom – Riding in the Back Seat


20 thoughts on “NaPoWriMo – Poem / Poetry – “Whoppers”

  1. Pingback: You left me with a hole in my balloon of awe « psychologistmimi

  2. Pingback: There is Something about Mary in the Deep South: My Alternate Persona « psychologistmimi

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