Hey there everyone.
Welcome to another fantastic installment of the Author Interview series.
Tonight, we have the pleasure of chatting with The Girlfriend Guru (AKA The Ex-Whisperer), who writes self-help romance books filled to the brim with useful dating advice and how to cope with problems that arise during or after a relationship.
If you are unlucky in love then chances are The Girlfriend Guru has some advice to help put things right in your world again.
Here we go, enjoy the show, have a great evening and thanks for reading.
Hi there Girlfriend Guru, thank you for being our guest today to talk about your books and relationship advice.
Hey David! I am so happy to be here.
Let’s start with your guides “The Girlfriend Guru’s Guide to Breaking Up Without Breaking Down: HOW TO SAY SO LONG TO MR. WRONG” and “The Girlfriend Guru’s Guide to Cheaters And Liars: HOW TO KNOW IF HE’S HAVING AN AFFAIR”. One of the things that I am very passionate about on this website is providing inspirational and supportive advice. Please tell us more about the themes of these guides and touch upon the most important aspects of them.
The Girlfriend Guru Guides are a rather unique blend of self-help and memoir and at times, cross over into true confession. I don’t shy away from sharing extremely intimate stories from my own tumultuous relationships in order to make it real and to help others. The GG Guides are a bit of a cross between a reinvention of Miss Lonelyhearts and Dear Abby with attitude. I consider myself to be an astute amateur psychologist. I’m tough and honest, but compassionate and empathetic. The Girlfriend Guru Guides offer readers a safe place free of judgement. Above all I strive for connection because I believe that is what is most sorely lacking in our technology driven world. People are desperate for true connection with a real person. It’s exactly the opposite of what is available en masse to them on the Internet. The Girlfriend Guru is a good friend.
What was your inspiration behind writing these guides – are they based on personal experiences or those of your family/friends/acquaintances?
People have always come to me for advice on love and life (what else is there?). I’m a good listener and I seem to have an innate gift for making people feel better. I am an optimist, probably to a fault, but it is a survival mechanism that has always worked for me, and it is medicine I prescribe. My glass isn’t just half full it overflows to fill up the glasses of everyone around me. That being said (and I realize this sounds like a total dichotomy) I am also extremely logical and realistic. I get really easily excited and overly enthusiastic about almost everything in life, and I’m a serial daydreamer, but somehow I’m able to keep my feet on the ground through it all. I think it’s that head in one world, feet in another space that I occupy with ease, that makes people come around and want to get some of what I’m having.
I’m forthright about what needs to happen for my readers to change, to see things in a different way, or to pull themselves out of their current predicament. Reaching one’s full potential as a human being requires a fair amount of work, and I tell people how to roll their sleeves up and get the job done. I try to do it kindly, but I can be a rather tough counsellor, and I must admit I am a fan of profanity.
I do also draw on the experiences of my friends and family members and I do not apologize for that. As Anne Lamott said, “You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.”
What do you find the most difficult thing about writing? And what do you find the easiest?
I naturally have a good ear for dialog, so that’s the easiest thing for me to write, which is mostly what screenplays are made of, so that’s a happy coincidence. I also have an extremely logical and rational brain, so story structure comes very easily for me. I love to plot – especially against my enemies! Description is my least favourite thing to write and to read. I skip those eloquent, long, award worthy descriptions in books, mostly because I don’t have the attention span to wade through them. I love short and concise. Hemingway got it right. So did Elmore Leonard.
Who are some of the authors and/or historical figures that inspire you?
Alice Hoffman is my all time favourite writer because I love the way she weaves magic into the everyday. I relate to that because I see magic everywhere. Make me laugh – I love funny, Nora Ephron, Helen Fielding, Marian Keyes. I also crave a good hard-boiled detective novel, Raymond Chandler, Walter Mosley, Robert B. Parker, Elmore Leonard.
Every strong female who has ever walked the earth inspires me, and I’m fascinated by how the resistance they inevitably face always serves to empower them. I read the transcripts of the Salem Witch Trials as a young woman, and the injustice of it lit a social fire inside me that has never stopped burning.
Why do you write? What inspired you to become a writer?
I couldn’t not write. It comes, as naturally to me as breathing, although it feels more like an itch I need to scratch. What I most love to do is create. I write, I paint, I dance, I garden, I cook, I design and build houses. The mandate I give myself for my creations is to make people feel good, to make them feel better. If I accomplish that then my work is successful.
What keeps you motivated during creative slumps? How do you deal with Writers Block?
Coffee, chocolate, coffee.
Actually I don’t allow myself the luxury of writer’s block. I ascribe to James Thurber’s philosophy, “Don’t get it right, get it written”, and then I rewrite to get it right.
Do you have a specific writing routine or ritual to get you in the mood?
I’m a coffee addict and an early riser. I relish my alone time and raising 4 kids meant I had to get up way before sunrise to steal those moments for myself. I adore sitting in the dark and quiet, nursing a steaming cup of java, dreaming up my stories and conversing with my characters, while watching the sky wake up. I even get up early on vacation to be alone with my thoughts and a hot Columbian (coffee) to witness the sunrise over an exotic ocean or rugged mountain range. I live in the countryside and take a long walk through the forest with my dogs, stopping by the river to meditate before I start writing every day. Then as Earnest Hemingway said:-
“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”
You have access to a time machine. What advice would you give to your younger self?
First I’d wrap my arms around her, rock her on my knee, and gently stroke her face, because I know she needed more comfort and safety than she ever received. I would tell her how deserving she is of unconditional love, which is something she never knew. I would tell her how beautiful her flaws are, and how the mistakes she is bound to make in life will necessarily shape and ground her and guarantee that she evolves as gorgeously human. I would implore her to be her best, to remain real, and to honour her authentic self.
How do you spend your free time when you are not writing?
I swing wildly between being so busy that I often forget to eat for whole days, while allowing myself very little sleep, and losing entire afternoons cloud watching. Moderation is a virtue I do not possess. ADHD on the other hand, I have in spades. I live on beautiful forested land that a river runs through and I walk my dogs through the woods for a good hour every day then sit by the river’s edge to meditate. I am addicted to Nature. I am a professional artist and am very lucky to have a fabulous studio to paint in. I also have an amazing vegetable garden with a pretty potting shed that one of these days I may just move into. I adore yoga and I’m a vegetarian and love to cook vegan food, especially for my four babies, when they come home from their globe trotting adventures to touch base with their hippy mom.
Tell us more about your upcoming projects. Are you working on anything specific or have plans in the pipeline for future guides?
I’m hoping to do 8 more Girlfriend Guru Guides over the next 12 to 18 months. The next three being;
The Girlfriend Guru’s Guide to Self-Care and Healing for Shell Shocked Relationship Refugees: How to Recreate Yourself;
The Girlfriend Guru’s Guide to Getting Your Groove Back: How to Find and Follow Your Passion
The Girlfriend Guru’s Guide to Batsh*t Crazy Exes: How to Survive Slander, Stalkers and Other Psycho Sickos.
(No shortage of personal fodder for that last one!)
I may take a break in the middle of the GG Guides to work on the first instalment of a cozy mystery series that actually ties in with the Girlfriend Guru Guides (my ADHD permeates every aspect of my life). I’m looking forward to that, it’s going to be a lot of fun, and I’d love to share the progress with you once it gets a little closer.
Finally, are there any nuggets of wisdom that you can impart to other aspiring writers in the Non-Fiction genre?
Don’t listen to anybody! You’re the only one who knows the truth about you. As William Goldman said, “Nobody knows anything.” If you’re not your #1 Fan, you need to work on that. You’ve got this.
And that’s a wrap! Thank you for all of your witty advice and giving those with dating and relationship problems a positive boost in the right direction 🙂
Bio:- (in her own words)
“As a screenwriter and story editor I have over one hundred hours of television produced and have had numerous feature film scripts optioned by Henry Winkler’s Fair Dinkum Productions at Paramount Pictures and by Interscope Communications for Universal Studios. I have lectured on the topic of screenwriting techniques for novelists at writers’ conferences including Sisters In Crime, Romance Writers of America, Rom-Con (Romantic Times Magazine) and Buff-Con. I also served as a private story editor for bestselling mystery novelist Anne Perry. In addition to my writing, I am a contemporary artist and my abstract paintings hang in galleries throughout Canada and the USA, my work being included in numerous private and corporate collections.
As the Girlfriend Guru (aka The Ex-Whisperer) I guide love’s warriors, rebels, and refugees through the minefield of relationships. My superpowers are my intuition, my enthusiasm, and my capacity to magically make people feel better when they are around me. Transforming the negative into the positive, making the fragmented whole, are abilities that come naturally to me. Through the stories I tell, and the pictures I paint, I work to empower others by bringing them back into alignment with their truest selves and their dearest dreams.
I believe in the power of falling in love with yourself before falling in love with a partner who inspires you, in the passion of love at first sight and the magic of friendships that slowly transform into unconditional love. I believe in embracing change, in taking chances, in going big or going home and in creating a home for yourself that recharges and wraps your wildness in safety. For me the sexiest words in the English language are truth, trust, and integrity and I swear there’s nothing hotter than the nakedness of reality.
I live with my life partner who I just can’t stop kissing and our lovable pets, in the middle of a forest, on the edge of a river, surrounded by a menagerie of wildlife including fairies and other magical creatures. When I’m not writing, painting, walking in nature, gardening, stargazing, moondancing, daydreaming, meditating, yogaing, laughing and loving, I’m welcoming home my four fabulous children who live and study all over the world.”
You can connect with The Girlfriend Guru on the following Social Media channels:-
You can buy Girlfriend Guru’s Guides here:-
If you too would like to be interviewed on my blog at TooFullToWrite and you have a book or a series of books that you would like us to chat about then fill out the Contact Me form here with your details and we can arrange a future interview slot.
Still want more? Well, The Girlfriend Guru’s pet passion is to help strive for connection in a culture that is driven by technology. For more articles relating to the theme of ‘Culture’ then check out the links below:-
1. ativ schuberg – Solzhenitsyn’s apprentice
2. NeuroBead – A little bit of culture
3. lolalynwrites – Harness your Cultural Intelligence (CQ) Skills
4. Myammy! Moving in together at 50… – Sated by Satie? Not in this lifetime
5. City of Culture – The Inkwell
6. Lagos Got Me Like… – Ashley Carter ~ OM YOGA
7. The Gatlinburg Fires Destroy a Culture of Life and Tourism – Hummings from Paradise
8. Lean into me – Scattered Showers in a Clear Sky
9. COLD BONES – MY ENDURING BONES
10. simply.cindy – Dress-Up Time
11. Culture: More than a Color. – The Other Norway
12. Bed Erection, Planes and Jazz Delight – Chronicles of an Orange-Haired Woman!
13. My Neighbors Dog – 5AcresAndShe
14. ITS MY RIGHT TO READ – Ladybug278
15. 6 Pink High Heels That Bring Out Your Feminine Side – Custom Shoes Blog
16. Beyond the kiss Christie & Adam P4. – Rexine Rawhead
17. Born and Bred – aYoKa
18. The fog is crawling over the mountains
19. Vaidus World – Turning 30
20. TO GIVE BACK ALL THE LOVE – Rainbow
21. Japanese Wh1spers – A place for everything
22. The Culture of Love? – The Colour of Poetry
23. Boat cruise Dubai marina – Spotlight on Dubai Design – Yacht in Dubai
24. Personal Geographic – PEN AND INK LOVERS
25. The culture we are proud of – Sanjeet Scribbles
26. Happy St Andrews Day – byindiablue
27. Harcourt 51 – Culture
28. The Lost & Found Spirit 10 – Ms Skyfall
29. LOVE BEING SPOILED – 6 reasons why is home better than hostels?
30. Culture – Swa-Mikosho
31. Omkaram – Passionate Soul
32. Departure ~Â Decadence – Word Adventures
33. littlegirlstory – New Zealand art and culture
34. collefornia – The Culture of Friendship
35. Culture – The Bag Lady
36. “I Hate the Fact I Love You”, so I Simply Fucked Off – Le Happyone
37. culture wars and loss – Kevin Army
38. Fluffy Pool – Culture and Day 29
39. What happened. – Candid Quasar
40. My Mixed Blog – Culture Overload
41. inspiration in progress – Cultured
42. The Girl on the Train – Mac’s World
43. WHEN SCIENCE MEETS CULTURE – foodheritagehub
44. Appreciating the Culture of Nature – Serendipitous Web Life
45. Culture – Vermont Book Works
46. Just Having Fun – Open Letter to NPR
47. Culture – Super Awkward Girl
48. Culture: What will we do? – Writer2011
49. Remembering Gawai days – WORDS from SONOBE
50. Cage Dunn: Writer and Author – A One Page Test
51. HarlemATL Inner City Blues – No Need To Look Away
52. Canadian Culture Shock – Lizz Beth Ashley
53. Culture – why i need art
54. newtoneapblog – Culture
55. That Which is Not Displayed – A Short Story – jmwwriting
56. Netdancer’s Musings and Photography – Daily Prompt- Culture
57. Hamper Of Love – KL Beats Boulevard
58. Write Now – ‘Tis Better To…
59. Frank Prem – in translation: we should leave
60. Culture: The Daily Propt – Sorkrates
61. A Beautiful Man – Inner Whispers
62. Splendippity – A Letter from My Dead Father
63. This Culture of Consumerism: More is Sneaky – Justus Creek
64. Matrix – crashcoursedummy
65. Leanne Murphy – Ten words #39
66. Geek Family Life – QuirkySkirts Set the Trend for Nerdgirl Culture
67. Lost Property Repository – The Star Hotel
68. The Beauty of Cultural Heritage – Perspective Bilong Mi
69. One Day at a Time – Healing Foodie
70. Whose culture? – Margaret writes about life and everything else
71. Februarys – Satanism: The Worship Of The Self
72. kStan(ly) kSays – if he gave the world a look
73. lifelessons – a blog by Judy Dykstra-Brown – Vive la Cultura de MÃ©xico!!!!
74. B_ up to date – So – I love Culture
75. Tragedy Strikes on the heal of Thanksgiving – April’s Perspective
76. 8-bit Chrome Dolphin – pingback test
77. Success Inspirers’ World – Romilia Quotes 70
78. How migrating taught me to live a simplistic life. – Exploring Mama
79. Finnish communication culture – In my world
80. Thanksgiving Healthiness – Southern Fried City Girl
81. Chess Pie – A Southern Staple – Southern Fried City Girl
82. Culture – My organic adventure
83. My Cultural Discoveries – Occasional Dreams
84. Perfect Fit – Kurilane Guests
85. Say Whaaaat!? Cross-Cultural Dating Dilemmas – The Wandering Dropout
86. The work culture depends on teamwork – Your Nibbled News (c) 2016 YNN
87. Michel Montecrossa Blog – Michel Montecrossa songs and videos about Welcome Culture
88. s1ngal – Culture
89. Turn That Radio Up – Fairytale
90. Tramp Stamp – The Last Blog Available
91. Culture – whatever that is? – Back On The Grid
92. Culture – suzhalgal
93. Literary Fashion – English Lit Geek
94. SovietCola – Culture
95. Share Ideas – Lost in Translation
96. Culture: Why Do You Do What You Do? – SUCCESS STRATEGIES
97. Culture and Technology: Why everything is so weird – Cheese and Glory
98. design.lifestyle.inspiration. – When Cultures Collide; The Lighthouse – Two Poems Intertwining To Create One
99. D.J. Garcia, Gentleman & Scholar – Want some culture?
100. Oh Petri Dish – charlesewaugh
101. Filling in the gap – Pen Pals…
102. Writing Natural – To Each Their Own Culture
103. Speak Now Storyteller – Moana (2016) Review
104. My Culture – Love it Now
105. The rise of populism – MyBlog
106. Martha L Shaw – CULTURALLY SPEAKING-Let’s Learn ACCEPTANCE!
107. (counter)Culture – themanbehindtheglass
108. Chryt – Healthcare in Rwanda
109. Annette’s place – DaiLY PRomPT/cUlture
110. Quill & Parchment – India : Culture & History
111. Thoughts: Canadian Stereotypes – Sincerely, Loewe
112. Culture – Wings Of Poetry
113. Daily Prompt : Culture – Bob’s Blog
114. Light & life – Who Doesn’t Want a Sloppy Wet Kiss?
115. Wanakkam – Ayubowan
116. Covert Novelist – Culture
117. Full-Time – Small Town
118. Musings of a Random Mind – The Road Less Familiar
119. Daily Post Prompt: Remnants of a Culture, Anasazi Dreams – Sumyanna Writes
120. The Burden of Inclusivity (a journal) – stephentotheplate
121. Unwind – Kurtis Lunz
122. 5 Striking Similarities Between Indian and Japanese cultures – peepal
123. Lamont and Dude Talk about Culture – I’m a Writer, Yes, I Am!
124. THE BLANK PAGE – Culture
125. Aren’t You Tired Of The Crawl? – emotionsoflife2016
126. BGC Passionfest 2016 – Stay Strong, Daily Warrior!
127. Angie’s Blog – Culture: From The White Washed Asian
128. A thread….. – Sassycook
129. Mr. Johnson’s Blog – Suffering to be Happy
130. Stop Whispering… Shout Out and Stamp Out Mental Illness Stigma – My Loud Bipolar Whispers
131. Crossing Colorado – Fitness Technology: Benefit or Drawback to Healthy Living?
132. Betcha Didn’t Know! – Discover the 3 Reasons Why WordPress Readers Can Drastically Stunt the Growth of Your Traffic
133. Prayers and Piazzas – Blessings to all who Pass By
134. The Cat Chronicles – Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Culture
135. When God Breaks In – The Jolly Beggar
136. First Drafts – Finnish traditions, food and family stories
137. The Beauty of My Culture – eddaz
138. DCMontreal: Blowing the Whistle on Society – “The World Needs More Canada” is a Great Slogan For 150th Birthday in 2017
139. News Culture – A lot from Lydia
140. Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss – Angloswiss Culture
141. The World We Know – Life By Linds
142. thelonerose – Honouring love
143. There Are More Poets than Stars in the Firmament – different artisanal farm to table
144. A lack of education creates fear ⋆ Obsolete Childhood
145. The Forbidden Curve – Playing with words
146. Culture Club – Kiwiontheloose
147. An Upturned Soul – The 2nd House – What is Mine, Mine, Mine
148. Dead Dolly – The Abject Muse, aka SusanWritesPrecise
149. Life with Jess – My Heartbeat
150. Countdown to moving 4 – Elaine’s Bloggers Paradise
151. Culture – day 5 prompt – 50-Word Story Time
152. DAY DREAM NEAR GOLDBACH – TRANSMUTATION.ME
153. LadyLebz – 4 CULTURAL PRACTICES THAT DISCRIMINATE AGAINST WOMEN
154. LadyLebz – CUISINE OF EAST AFRICA
155. Shattered Lands of Eshara – Bits of Nibbets
156. It’s Cultural – YouBreakItYouBoughtIt
157. Culture #DailyPost – Of Glass & Paper
158. The happy Quitter! – Smile when your heart is breaking!
159. tiny conversation – Tic Tac Talks
160. Unique Baby Gifts – Unique Lovely Gifts
161. Frank Prem – of culture
162. Isn’t China like India? – Don’t hold your breath
163. Do Not Annoy The Writer – Senses Cure The Soul
164. ~X~Y~Z~ – Love is your Culture
165. And then there was one – Out with the Old and Out with the New Too!
166. Give And Take – Sinner’s Prayer
167. Johnny Cash: The Poet – English Lit Geek
168. Zombie Flamingos – Here’s to another beautiful day!
169. sonja benskin mesher – . blot .
170. CULTURALLY RICH – soul n spirit
171. A Lesson – Just Writing!
172. Culture… – Emotions that matter.
173. Getting your nutrition back on track – art of being fabulous
174. Culture – Alphe’s corner
175. MY OWN PRIVATE IDAHO – Culture
176. It’s All About Your Heart – Pete Gardner Psalms
177. I am”Maha-Punjabi” – sweepingtherug
178. Designer Sophisticate – Red, Gold, and Green.
179. Hot White Snow – Cultural Immersion
180. Devil Doll Musings – Let It Grow
181. Ethiopia 1964 – Bits of Poems
182. Camping in Cambodia – wanderlustandcoffeelover
183. The Poetic Syndrome – A Glorious Evening
184. kStan(ly) kSays – diverse divers
185. Science Traveler – Nikola Tesla the Pop Icon
186. The Wandering Poet – Buddha’s birthday Taiwan
187. I wrote a book. Now what? – The worls is your tainted oyster
188. Lost Property Repository – Exile