Well hello there you sexy, seductive things.

This one is going to get a little hot and steamy girls and guys  (I’m a sucker and slave to romance), so brace yourselves!

Batten down the hatches, dim the lights, crack open the wine and soundproof the walls – it’s going to be loud, proud and lewd!

This little humdinger was specifically written for the purposes of Romantic Monday, as hosted by the legendary Mr Edward Hotspur – check out his current post Apocalips and stay tuned over there for other amorously romantic lasciviousness:-

http://edwardhotspur.wordpress.com/2013/04/26/apocalips-on-romantic-monday/

So, what do we know about our mystery Femme Fatale guest writer, who has graciously written with yours truly but has decided to remain anonymous?

Well, all I can reveal is that she is terribly mysterious, just like The Sphinx*.

[Whatever you do, don’t tell anyone! QOTSA]

The chemistry was palpable and raw between us and our protagonists went from prim and proper to lust crazed devils within the wink of an eye and the tip of a hat.

And it’s all thanks to those those three special little words.

Love never had it so good.

Think Of England! A Romantic Monday Poem
(by TooFullToWrite and Femme Fatale ‘The Sphinx’)

“I say! You there my dear, yes you, hello, good day!”
I saw you on yonder balcony, from over across the way
A deep stirring in my girded loins, means I’m lost downriver
Your smile you see my dear, made my knees all a quiver

“I beg your pardon?” I return, I will ignore him as I should
Well I never! But then again, just this once, perhaps I could?
Not sure if it’s the heat, or the strapping dapper that I see
But I’m considering lifting skirts to cross the way to visit thee

“Well I never, you’ve decided to grace me with your presence!”
Your musky essence is teaching my olfactory senses a lesson
My dear, I would very much like to take you firmly by the hand
And serenade you seductively my lovely…well, at least that’s the plan

I watch his mouth speak his words, his eyes so warm and brown
I cannot help but wonder if he’d be likely to go down
Upon one knee, or do his intentions lean to the less refined
Speaking of which, I really must, lay hands on that behind!

“Crikey, is it just me, or did her palm wander over my hindquarters?”
Made me jump like a rabbit but I maintained dignity like I ought to
My Mother warned me about girls like this in my wildest imagination
As I hold the door open for her, I feel elation and sweet admiration

Public displays of affection, upon reflection, improve behind closed doors
It would be remiss not to beg one kiss, oh to find my lips on yours
But what if he is promised to another lass? Wouldn’t that just be my luck
Competition or not, this guy is hot, and this hen don’t give a cluck!

This lady certainly knows how to handle herself, I’m in uncharted waters
Leading me south of her forbidden borders, should I call my lawyer?
A risk that is seriously worth taking, together we’re destined
I want to dive in, lie back and think of those three special words

Searching for sense but finding none, I’m in a hurry to undress
Ripping at bodice, I realise my good name’s fast becoming a mess
I nervously fumble but so it would seem, I have routed my own course
So while he lays back to think of England, I shall think of my horse!

(*NB – The Sphinx is not her real name or her actual alias either but I swear there was a woman involved in this process! Also, I really love the film Mystery Men, so it was the logical choice to give to my anonymous collaborator – thank you for participating and to everyone else, if you’ve not seen Mystery Men then go watch it now!)