Hello dear friends – it has been a while!
I recently entered another competition at the weekend and having frantically opened the e-mail confirming whether I won or not, I’m extremely happy to announce that I didn’t.
No really, I’m happy – I got a nice précis comment and I can share it with you good people – the publishing embargo is off, so let the storytelling commence!
Feel free to leave me a comment because this kind of thing fires me up faster than a firework up the proverbial.
Thank you for all of your support and happy reading.
Dodging The Issue (by David Ellis)
It’s drizzling outside. A window is open and the breeze wafts in to smother me with the scent, not of a woman at all, not today, which is unusual to say the least. The clammy air tastes of dog. Funny that because I own a cat. There is a note on the wall.
Someone is trying to tell me something. A conundrum. Bringing to my attention this hum-drum existence and how I deal with this before it gets cold.
Why did I take this job? All those friends that I lost. They said the money would be good. Money can rent happiness for a while but only if you put it to good use.
My fingers hurt. Sterlize them in this whiskey. Not like I am going anywhere. Not this time. How are you supposed to learn a lesson when the only lesson to learn is that charity begins at home. That’s hardly a puzzle that needs its own section in the Sunday paper.
And yet. Still. I’m unsure why. Why it happened. Forgive me, I’m all over the shop. She was too. Biting and snarling and slapping, like the devil possessed.
Bargaining chips don’t come easy in an oppressive relationship. They float towards you and you grab whatever you can lay your hands on.
I think I’ll sit here quietly now. Peaceful, serene. Sit on my hands until they go numb. Although I can’t really feel anything now. It’s been that way for a long time now. Long before we even got together.
I remember how we used to laugh and reminisce. It’s all a big, swirly whirlpool now. She did leave me with something though. A little present to complement all the whiskey and tears. Her note.
I always used to tell her that her penmanship was atrocious but that usually fell on deaf ears. Now it’s the thing that I treasure the most dear about her. I often used to tell her – if you write a thank you note that is crafted elegantly, you will make a deeper impression.
I turned her note over again and again but nothing more could be found.
Because in the end she wrote “Thanks for nothing.”
I gave her everything, my heart, soul and being. I just couldn’t give her children. They would have expected something in return.
And that’s hardly a puzzle worth considering.
10 thoughts on “Flash Fiction / Short Story – “Dodging The Issue””
Glad to see you entered – and you’ve got something to publish on your blog. An interesting take on the theme. x
Thank you Karen. I thought the precis comment was very nice too, he said I had some good lines in there – I was well chuffed 🙂
I think that was better than the shortlisted but if I was trying to pick fault I’d say you don’t orientate your reader at all. They need a few clues to engage. So who is this narrator, when do they live, why should the reader care? I know you seed it through but I think you have to give your reader a reason to engage within your first paragraph
Thanks for the feedback Jacquie and for reading it! I will take that on board for my next attempt 🙂
I’m glad I have found your blog (or you helped me to anyway ha). There’s a wealth of poetry and stories for me to read through, and so far I’m very impressed! Tip o’ the hat to you, sir.
Hope you have some fun 🙂 I’m following your blog too, although it may be a while before I comment, I follow hundreds of blogs and want to comment on them all in time
I know, it can get overwhelming keeping up with everyone! Glad to ‘meet’ you and I look forward to reading more of your work.
Likewise m’lady 🙂
This is great. I look forward to reading more of your posts
Thank you, same for you too, it might take me quite a while but I will comment eventually, my reading pile is ginormous!